Thursday, July 10, 2008

Being a Mommy...








So the absolute hardest and most wonderful calling/job/responsibility I have in this life is motherhood. This summer I have been with my kids more than ever before. Joey is studying for the bar and gone more than ever. What I want more than anything is for my kids to feel loved and appreciated. Sometimes that's hard when I have to pry Spencer's teeth off of Lincoln's ear because he is pulling a Mike Tyson or when Hayden's response to everything is, "I'm sick, I can't do that, but can I have some candy?" What I want to try to do is to balance my needs and wants with their needs and wants. I want to spend time with them and know that I love being with them. However, I need a little time everyday to sit and relax...Hayden has quiet time and the boys nap. That lets my mind sit still just long enough to remember that motherhood is extremely important and they will grow up so fast. It also allows me to remember me and that I'm still Katie even though my most important calling is being Hayden, Spencer and Lincoln's mom. How do you try to balance? How do you make time for you without being selfish? What do you do for yourself?...I feel like all my "Katie time activities" always have something to do with my kids...is that okay? I want to be a present, loving, caring mother and I want to know how you do it...please share!

6 comments:

Blake and Meg said...

You said it perfectly! I have nothing more to add except that I think you're a fantastic mommy!

Elizabeth said...

I think you are a fantastic mommy too. I think that is the real struggle of motherhood finding time for yourself but keeping the real goal in view and I think you are doing a great job. But it is important to do things for you (I like to read a book ... no surprise there!) But everyone has their thing. I am reading a book (I know shocking) called Woman First, Mother Always. I will tell you if it is worth reading when I am finished.

I think the best thing is not to expect perfection, especially from yourself. You can't be a perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, crafter, exerciser, carpooler, teacher, chef, nurse, friend in the world all the time. Each mother gives up something to be a mother and for each mother it is something different and sometimes I miss those things but I never regret.

You are a fabulous mom. And as near perfect a sister there can be without being translated! LOVE YOU

betsey said...

I love your post and just love your thought process here. It has been so interesting to me to make this mommy transition during the past 7 months. I was so worried as the end of my pregnancy came about maintaining "Betsey" while still being "mommy." I LOVE being mommy, but I also think it is REALLY important (as you described in the post so beautifully) that we do things for ourselves!

I try to do something each day that I enjoy and that makes me feel good. These include running, reading a good book that helps me learn something new or listening to NPR, these are all things that I love to do that help me feel like my brain isn't a big pile of mush. It helps me feel involved and interesting the running makes me feel healthy--all things that I think make me a good mommy.

I think it is fun to have interests that revolve around your children. I've been reading up on nutrition and baby food and am just loving all that i am learning to help Nora. And it makes me feel good about myself to learn about new subjects. I think the fact that what you enjoy centers on your children is a good thing.

MaryClaire Brown said...

i should definitely be getting advice from you on this, not giving it. but, here are a few things that make the world of difference for me. as you already mentioned, during naps/quiet time i have to use at least some of it to just chill. aka. blog, read, watch whatever tv show i missed the night before and ignore the laundrey, cleaning, etc. also, thursday night is my night. what i mean is that brian makes sure he's home, and by 7pm i go out. sometimes out to dinner with friends, sometimes running errands alone, sometimes i take my book to barnes and noble and read in peace with no distractions. if for some reason brian can't be home, i usually get a sitter. also, i realized shortly after parker was born that for my own sanity i needed to talk (preferably in person) to at least one adult other than brian every day. and it couldn't just be a quick taking care of something conversation. it had to be a good conversation. if i wasn't with a friend that day, i'd call one to say hey.

hope that helps. you're an amazing mother!

Heidi said...

You are such a great mom! I think the hardest part about "me" time is the tendancy to feel guilty but you need to get past it and know that that little bit of "me" time is filling your resevoir and thus helping you become an even better mom. Happy mom = happy family, happy kids! Even if it's an hour to myself, it makes all the difference. For me, it's a bath, blogging, TV (that mindless type of stuff), baking at night (without three kids hanging on your legs). I love to quilt too which is a great artistic outlet! Anyway, I'm amazed at how great of a mom you are and how patient you are. Be sure to take care of yourself and then you will be able to take care of those around you even better. Love you!

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